FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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