addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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