were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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