I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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