THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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