im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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