it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
