My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just threw up on my dentist
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
