hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
