overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We are two peas in an std pod
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
