; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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