My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
