That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize