i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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