please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
