also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
