Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
