Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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