pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
