I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
