I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
