I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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