you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
