I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
