I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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