It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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