My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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