yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
