All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
