how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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