four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Boobs speak an international language.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
