Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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