smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
