It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
