Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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