Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
