The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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