Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
