we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
my poor anus
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
And then he peed in my hair
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