did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
