It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
