This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
