yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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