apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
