Only a mothe r could love this liver
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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