the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
