He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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