Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
