i don't like sucking hair
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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