I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
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happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
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So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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