If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
