All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
