MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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