Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
