My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize