i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
operation have a gay friend backfired
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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