I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
