I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
